I have a major confession to make, I am a special person and this is my super power :
When my super power is at its height, I sit and fume and rage and worry about catastrophes that only I think happen. The side effect of my super power is extremely quick fingers that type furiously on my Blackberry BBM and send waves of discomfort across to anyone who I feel has contributed to that anxiety.
Jokes apart, I made life hell for someone yesterday. I blame this person, my boyfriend, for my single status. I have said cutely, I have said forcefully, I have cried, begged, pleaded and generally been really terrible about being single. I can get along well when we are together but once a few days, I have a transformation and I become this :
When I am anxious, I get into blame mode, then I get angry and I just type out texts furiously. My mother advised me this time when I was home that I do this to everyone and I should wait when I feel overwhelmed before getting on the phone. But when was the last time we listened to our mothers eh? I get mean, bitchy and snarky and I feel like wanting to make the other person wholly responsible for how horrible I am feeling. So I go on and on. Worst part is I know I am doing this but I am never able to stop myself in the act. I always sit and regret later. So does anyone have any bright ideas as to how I can overcome the rage and hopelessness that anxiety brings in? Do you think the single status causes the anxiety or the anxiety was always there and is just exacerbated by the single status? Solutions, solutions pls. Oh wait, now the ‘solve it soon’ OCD will take over.
Not so solitaire-y 
Feb 09, 2013 @ 14:41:29
Your cartoon at the top just cracked me up and you are too funny. I’m a super power at doing that too!! I’ve got the worst anxiety, EVER!! And I turned 30 this year too. Blurg. why do you just suddenly feel old at 30? Check out my blog if you want! I write about this stuff all the time. I also just published a novel about anxiety, panic etc. Best and hope you feel better. My guess is that the anxiety came first and then the single status was just something to focus it on. I have a post actually on my blog about what makes me feel better, check it out! bye!
Feb 10, 2013 @ 08:02:27
Wow, thank you for your kind words Victoria. I just hopped on to your blog and I love the design and all the honest assessment of anxiety and angst (oh if there was ever an apt word to describe an entire generation’s life experience). Good luck with your book.
Feb 10, 2013 @ 13:48:10
Thanks! haha, I agree Angst is definitely an apt word. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Feb 12, 2013 @ 15:11:08
Your cartoon at the top literally made me laugh out loud. I don’t suffer from anxiety, but I am a master at thinking the worst 😀
Maybe you should kee your phone somewhere where you can’t get to it immediately. It might give you a chance to calm down and breathe rather than instantly reaching for the BlackBerry…
Feb 12, 2013 @ 15:16:14
Actually I did that last Sunday. Put my phone off and locked it in the cupboard for most of the day. Me (and others) had some relief that day. Unfortunately I work in the communications part of media and I can’t afford to that most days. Phone OCD is a KRA in my field. I could only do it this Sunday because my boss is on her wedding leave for a month 😛 Wish she would be away more and I could do this more.