I have a major confession to make, I am a special person and this is my super power :

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When my super power is at its height, I sit and fume and rage and worry about catastrophes that only I think happen. The side effect of my super power is extremely quick fingers that type furiously on my Blackberry BBM and send waves of discomfort across to anyone who I feel has contributed to that anxiety.

Jokes apart, I made life hell for someone yesterday. I blame this person, my boyfriend, for my single status. I have said cutely, I have said forcefully, I have cried, begged, pleaded and generally been really terrible about being single. I can get along well when we are together but once a few days, I have a transformation and I become this :

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When I am anxious, I get into blame mode, then I get angry and I just type out texts furiously. My mother advised me this time when I was home that I do this to everyone and I should wait when I feel overwhelmed before getting on the phone. But when was the last time we listened to our mothers eh? I get mean, bitchy and snarky and I feel like wanting to make the other person wholly responsible for how horrible I am feeling. So I go on and on. Worst part is I know I am doing this but I am never able to stop myself in the act. I always sit and regret later. So does anyone have any bright ideas as to how I can overcome the rage and hopelessness that anxiety brings in? Do you think the single status causes the anxiety or the anxiety was always there and is just exacerbated by the single status? Solutions, solutions pls. Oh wait, now the ‘solve it soon’ OCD will take over.

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